The First Step to Recovery: Have Confidence in Your Ability To Make Positive Changes In Your Life

You really can change.

The research evidence supports that people really can and do change. We all know people who have stopped harmful habits such as smoking even though all smokers admit that it is very difficult to quit.

It’s important that you believe in your own ability to change.

We encourage you to do what you can to support your self-confidence, your faith in yourself, and your hope for the future. If you can’t choose to believe that you can change, then at least reserve your judgment, set aside any negative beliefs, and approach the process of change with an open mind.

Don’t fall into the self-fulfilling prophecy trap.

That is, if you predict something, you will tend to make that thing happen. Believing that you can’t change undermines your motivation, effort or willingness to try and leaves you with only the cold comfort and trivial reward of being right when you fail.

Failing to change only proves that you have not yet mastered the skills or built enough motivation.

Change is difficult. Change requires strategies, preparation, and knowledge that you might not have yet. Perhaps you have repeatedly tried something that does not work for you rather than trying a new, different approach. Realizing that there are many paths to change brings hope.

Change is usually difficult, but not impossible.

Your genetics and your upbringing do not determine your behavior. Biology is not destiny. Neither can your history hold you totally in its grip. Even your current environment does not totally control you, though altering or leaving your current environment may make changing your behavior easier.

Change is a process, not an event.

You should keep in mind that change does not happen in a flash. Change may start with a flash of awareness, but it continues as a journey. And as with a journey, you had better be prepared to weather the difficulties and set backs that come along the way.

Setbacks are learning experiences, not proof of failure.

We see slips and lapses as a chance for practicing new skills, not something to be ashamed of. Instead of using a relapse as an excuse to give up and put yourself down, use any setbacks as opportunities to better understand what went wrong and how things might be handled better the next time. Meet with your counselor and come to a meeting and talk about your slip/lapse, and let everyone help you learn from it.

You can solve your own problems.

This does not mean that it is easy to change, or that you are somehow weak, defective, or morally deficient if you have not already done so. Nor is it accurate to say that heredity and biology plan no role in the complex problem of addiction. But while blaming a disease might help some people to accept the existence of an addictive disorder or reduce the social stigma attached, it might also make them and you less confident and able to solve your own problems.

 
You can empower yourself.

Instead of laying all the blame for your addictive behavior problems on heredity and environment, why not empower yourself with the kind of beliefs which research has shown to be effective?

 
Try saying the following things to yourself, firmly and repeatedly, and then see how you feel:

*  Addictive behavior is a human problem with a human solution.

*  I don’t HAVE TO change, but I can decide that I WANT TO.

*  Lapses in the past do not prove that I will lapse forever.

*  I am not a moral degenerate for trying to be happy in stupid or self-     defeating ways.

*  I am responsible for my thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

*  I feel and act the way I think based on what I believe.

*  I am the only one who can change my behavior. Others may help, but nobody can do it   for me.

*  It takes hard work and practice, not miracles, to overcome    addictive behaviors.

*  I may benefit from help, but ultimately it’s up to me.

*  I can change if I choose to, and I am willing to do the work and practice.